Crossing The Line

Us Pollywogs, Or Wogs for short, we were told to put on our
Clothes inside out, and report, very early in the morning, to the
Work center where the fun stuff began -- made to sing, repeat
Insults to relatives and ourselves, to walk like a duck and go
"Quack, quack, quack..." -- then, some silliness with shaving
Cream being applied liberally to heads and bodies, drinking
the "Truth Serum" -- warm orange juice and tabasco sauce...
And then it was nuts-to-butts and slime up to the top deck,
Where we ran around an flapped our arms like Goony birds,
And then we got to crawl through a 20-yard long canvas
Tunnel filled with last week's stinking kitchen garbage, and
There was the grimy dunk tank, and the Shellback Chiefs
Who had the largest guts were rubbing their bellies with lard
And we each have to try to get the almond out of his belly
Button using our lips -- All this for a few hours in the honor
Of King Neptune, as we Wogs, who were crossing the
Equator for the first time, were transformed into Shellbacks,
Just like the ocean-going mariners of the olden days...